EMOTIONAL & MENTAL HEALTH OF NICU PARENTS

Having a baby in the NICU is stressful. Expect to have strong feelings about your baby’s health and care. You, your partner, and your family may deal with the stress of the NICU differently, and this may cause strain on the relationship(s). It’s OK to have different feelings. Share what you are thinking and feeling with someone you trust: this could be your partner, family member, friend, someone from the NICU staff, a religious or spiritual counselor, or a therapist. When your baby is in the NICU, there’s no “normal” way to feel.

When your baby is in the NICU, you may be feeling:

  • Scared about your baby’s medical condition and what may happen to her in the future

  • Sad about your baby being in the hospital and not at home like you had planned

  • Overwhelmed by responsibilities outside the NICU, like going to work, paying bills, taking care of other children, and taking care of things at home

  • Angry about the changes that the NICU makes in your life

  • Anxious about the uncertainty of your current situation

  • Guilty that your baby’s in the NICU, or guilty about taking breaks from the NICU

  • Helpless and frustrated because you can’t do more to help your baby

  • Love and pride in your new baby

  • Happy about the progress your baby makes and the problems she overcomes

Coping with NICU Stress

  • It’s important to take care of yourself so that you can care for your baby. Be easy on yourself when guilty feelings show up.

  • Ask for and accept help from friends and family. Tell them exactly what they can do to help.

  • Stick to a daily routine. Every day, take a shower, eat healthy foods and regular meals, drink plenty of water, and get a good night’s sleep.

  • As part of your routine, decide when you want to be with your baby in the NICU.

  • Hold your baby and ask NICU staff how to provide healing touch. Participate in your baby’s care as much as possible. This promotes bonding and eases stress both babies and parents.

  • Connect with other NICU families at NICU classes, in the family lounge or in the NICU hallway. They may understand how you’re feeling better than friends and family who don’t have the same experience. Virtual groups can also be a good source of support. Postpartum Support International offers weekly online groups. Learn more at https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/

  • Take breaks from the NICU. It’s OK and important to make time for yourself.

  • The NICU can be very overwhelming. It’s OK to ask questions of staff and providers (as often as necessary) until you feel comfortable with the information.

  • Keep a notebook or journal of your conversations with medical staff that you can refer back to when things feel unclear, confusing, or overwhelming. Similarly keeping a record of your baby’s development can be very helpful when discussing your baby’s care with medical staff, and also to celebrate progress.

  • Accept that the NICU experience is a roller coaster. There will be ups and downs, and it’s important to be easy on yourself and your partner as you navigate so many new things all at once.

Special Considerations

  • A NICU stay OF ANY LENGTH is a risk factor for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), up to 40% more likelihood for mothers and up to 10% more likelihood for fathers.

  • The most commonly occurring PMADs are Postpartum Depression (PPD) and Postpartum Anxiety (PPA).

Emotional & Mental Health in the 4th Trimester

(and Beyond...)

Self-Care

The first few weeks after bringing baby home are a big adjustment for the whole family. An easy way to remember the basics of self-care is NESTS.

  • Nutrition – Set up a meal registry prior to birth so that friends and family can stock your kitchen with healthy nourishing meals that can be prepared quickly. Have ready-to-go healthy snacks on hand, and drink lots of water to stay hydrated.

  • Exercise – Once cleared by your doctor, get regular GENTLE exercise to reduce stress – a daily walk, some light stretching or yoga etc- any movement that feels good to you.

  • Sleep & Rest – Sleep is very important for emotional well- being, so take advantage of EVERY opportunity to get a few winks. Aim for at least one 4 hour stretch at night, and for those times you can’t sleep, making sure you rest and put your feet up can also be restorative.

  • Time for Yourself – Make time for yourself every day. Even a few minutes goes a long way.

  • Support – ALL new moms and dads needs support from others. Don’t be afraid to ask for or accept help from others. Whether it’s practical support like grocery shopping or laundry, emotional support, or information about how to connect with other parents in your community.

The Baby Blues: a normal and expected part of the postpartum adjustment period

  • This is a very common phenomenon affecting about 80% of new moms, in which the mother may have sudden mood swings, anxiety, irritability or difficulty sleeping. For most new moms, the Baby Blues generally resolves on its own within 2-3 weeks (and no longer).

Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety: if symptoms appear or persist beyond 2-3 weeks postpartum, you may be experiencing a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder (PMAD) and it is advised to talk to your OBGYN or a therapist for a mental health assessment.

  • PPD/PPA affect as many as 1 in 7 new moms (about 14%). Common signs or symptoms include feeling extreme sadness most of the day or nearly every day, crying easily or often, excessive worry, irritability or anger, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, feeling overwhelmed or even hopeless, feeling withdrawn or isolated, disturbances in sleep or eating, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, thoughts that you are a terrible parent, or frightening thoughts of harming yourself or baby.

Other PMADs (Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders):

  • Postpartum OCD – less common, (approx. 11% of new moms) symptoms include scary intrusive thoughts or images, checking and re-checking the baby, washing and re-washing bottles, etc.

  • Postpartum Psychosis – an extremely rare (0.1 -0.2%) and very serious condition that is considered a psychiatric emergency and requires immediate treatment and possibly hospitalization. Onset is sudden, usually within the first few days or weeks postpartum. Symptoms include mania/hyperactivity, increased irritability, decreased need or ability to sleep, paranoia or suspiciousness, rapid mood swings, difficulty communicating, delusions, and hallucinations.

If you experience any of these things once you’ve had your baby, know that you are not alone, there is no shame in reaching out for help, and with help you can feel better. There are lots of treatment options including psychotherapy, support groups, and medications, if needed.

If you are not sure if what you are experiencing is PPD/PPA or another PMAD, you can schedule a phone consultation with Jennifer Burleson, LCSW at

https://jennifer-burleson.clientsecure.me/.

Jennifer Burleson, LCSW/ Perinatal & Maternal Mental Health Specialist

479-323-1648/ jennifer@jenniferburleson.com / www.jenniferburleson.com

Schedule a free phone consultation at https://jennifer-burleson.clientsecure.me/

In-person and Telehealth Sessions Available

Office Location: 1116 S Walton Blvd #114 Bentonville, AR 72712